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Tag:Lance Armstrong
Posted on: January 21, 2013 2:14 pm
 

Te'o, Lance & Scrub a dub-dub

So you’re thinking about attending this year’s NFL Scouting Combine in February?

When you do, best just leave your ‘moral-compass’ back at the motel. Won’t need it.

If the Manti Te’o scrub-up is any indicator, the character-test won’t be given out at this year’s obstacle course, or any other NFL dress rehearsal, for that matter.

Since the Deadspin article on Te’o’s fake, leukemia-stricken girlfriend hit the fan early last week, handlers of the Notre Dame All-American have been running him and his reputation through a media wash & spin cycle.

Irish AD-VP Jack Swarbrick kicked things off Wednesday with an ‘I believe Manti’ press conference.

On Friday, ESPN’s Jeremy Schaap interviewed the sequestered, fallen hero who fielded questions filtered through his attorney.

Now, Team Te’o has reportedly reserved time on the Katie Couric show this Thursday with his parents alongside as buffer. This Manti guy, he’s a real piece a’ work.

A clean-up job like this is rare, but the character kiss-off in the sport biz is nothing new.

Remember Larry Phillips (NEB / ‘96), the Cornhusker who dragged a woman down a stairwell and then Tom Osborne returned him to the roster just in time for the big game? The red-flags were flyin’ high on Larry but he still got the royal treatment on draft day (R1-P6 / STL). Now he’s resident of the California penal system. I wonder if Tom & Dick would’ve played social-worker had Larry not been a gridiron star? I’m thinking…no.

Te’o didn’t go caveman on anyone, he just played us all for Neanderthals.

Why don’t I believe Manti’s denial of any involvement in concocting the fake, fateful girlfriend? Because no man, I mean NO man, who is generally honest, would refer to an on-line friend whom he never met, neither in person or by video chat, even if believed to be real, as a “girlfriend” when speaking in public.  No man.

But an arrogant, ignorant man might fabricate an on-line “girlfriend" with a special purpose in mind: to cultivate attention & sympathy that will help to bring a Heisman contender the votes necessary to win the coveted award and the fame & fortune which accompanies its receipt. Every little bit helps when you play on that side of the ball which has never been primary workplace of a Heisman recipient.

A friend who purportedly dies of cancer is a sad tale to listeners. A “girlfriend” who dies is a memorable story to Heisman voters, especially when the word and its sad story are dropped into practically every interview you give.

The golden-domers had another Heisman hungry hero back in the day by the name of Joe Theismann (Theez-man). Some believe Joe changed the pronunciation of his last name to rhyme with the famous trophy in hopes of garnering votes. If true, it's goofy and kinda’ desperate, but harmless enough.

Te’o is claiming victim status, Swarbrick is firmly in his corner, a new MT girlfriend has appeared and a fabrication fall-guy has stepped forward (R. Tuiasosopo), a guy who‘s motive (Just for kicks?) will be as unbelievable as the Te’o denial. A weak explanation, to be sure, but it’s their story and they, along with most the media, are gonna’ stick to it.

The print media remains divided, skeptical of Manti Te’o, but Sportscenter is scrubbin’ like mad.

John Clayton on Te’o: “No character issue (1/17).”

Bill Polian: “No character issue.“

Schaap the Younger, assigned to Mr. Clean duty, conducted a closed-door interview with the beleaguered footballer on Friday (who looked like he’d just rolled out bed), ostensibly to get the true story but more likely to scrub-down the player’s image before his draft-value plummets and ND’s recruitment suffers. Jeremy on Te’o: “believable.” Bravo.

Earlier in the week, Oprah Winfrey Scrub & Shine provided the same service for Lance Armstrong Amalgamated. As Lancer’s record of deceit & skullduggery is major league in comparison to the young Te’o’s tally of tsk-tsks, he’ll need many more drives through the ‘character car wash’ before he’s presentable again, corporately speaking. But Lance is a savvy dude. He might still take PEDs mainstream, if the lawsuits don’t do him in.

When the media outlet that breaks the Manti Te’o hoax boasts its biggest claim to fame to be the Sterger / Favre item, it’s fair to say our 4th branch of government (the media) is not meeting its duty to the public interest. ‘Captured’ might be the relevant word here.

Like Mr. Phillips, Te’o will probably go 1st round in this April’s NFL Draft. And he will fare better, mentally speaking, than Larry did if he remains true to this one, simple rule. It’s called the Costanza Rule: “It’s not a lie, if you believe it.”

Steven Keys
Macro Sports
Posted on: January 16, 2013 2:29 pm
 

NFL '13 Conference Picks

Breaking All the Rules

First Jim Harbaugh adds Randy ‘Ipecac’ Moss to the 2012 49ers’ roster, a man washed-out & retired since being cut loose by New England, Minnesota and Tennessee in 2010.

In Week 11 he changes horses mid-stream, benching a recently concussed veteran in QB Alex Smith (6-2-1) in favor of 2nd-year man from Nevada, Col. Kaepernick.

And the piece de résistance: Jim employs a modern version of the old single-wing tail-back formation, putting Kaep Krusader’s 6’4” 230 lbs. frame and run ability to full use.

Who ever said Michigan men are too conservative?

New Landscaping or Captured by the Moment?

To borrow Pete Carroll’s post-game wordage, last weekend’s Divisionals were “exquisite.”

Colin’s record-setting play against Green Bay would win him ‘Best in Show’ by a land-slide if polling the public but the quality of competition weighs heavy and the Niners’ win just looked too darn easy. Packers lost something in that fateful trip to Kansas City in late 2011 and haven’t gotten it back, appearing completely befuddled after nabbing an early pick-6.

And I’m not so sure that Mike Vick’s 2002 win at Lambeau over the Favre crew (27-7), handing G-Bay their first ever home playoff loss, wasn’t slightly more momentous.

Best of last weekend’s performances is a five-way tie: four Ravens and a rookie Seahawks’ QB who nearly pulled off the unthinkable in Atlanta.

Joe Flacco went toe-to-toe with the NFL’s 2012 likely MVP (AP) Peyton Manning, Ray Rice churned out 131 against the # 3 rush-D in the NFL and a rejuvenated Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs scored 10 tackles each in pressuring Pey-dirt into fatal mistakes.

And while Matty Ice flirted with disaster and Mike Smith nervously worked the clock with the dreaded ’prevent-offense,’ Seattle’s Russell Wilson played cool as a cucumber in leading the Hawks’ 2nd-half surge to a late-game lead-grab before watching in agony as Ryan coolly drove 41 in final seconds to set up M. Bryant’s game-winning 49 yarder.

Absence of Good Faith

DeMaurice Smith is no slouch, that‘s for sure. The NFLPA executive director (‘09) is a graduate of the University of Virginia School of Law, an experienced trial attorney and was instrumental in fashioning the NFL 2011 collective bargaining agreement.

He’s also quite adept at the art of pre-emptive strike.

No sooner had MLB announced agreement on expanded blood-testing for the up-coming 2013 season (“MLB” / CBS / Snyder / 1-10) when it’s reported Mr. Smith has shot off a letter to all players & agents (“DeMaurice” / CBS / Freeman / 1-11), heading-off media inquires as to why football lags behind baseball in HGH testing, by laying blame at the doorstep of, you guessed it, NFL owners.

The dispute centers on one point: Smith is demanding a right “to challenge the science underlying the hGH (sic) test (“DeMaurice”).” It’s a merit-less position, as WADA has signed-off on its reliability long ago (“WADA” / NFL / Ellenport / 12-1-11). But Mr. Smith has a trump card: players, and more importantly fans, on the whole, seem little concerned about the ethical and health issues raised by use of PEDs on the gridiron.

But a day will come when NFL players have their blood tested for HGH and its spawn. And as long as DeMaurice Smith and like minds remain in charge at NFLPA and Federal efforts remain ephemeral and toothless, you can expect the believed rampant use of PEDs in the NFL will continue largely unimpeded for years to come.

Makes one wonder, where’s Rob Parker on DeMaurice and, for that matter, Oprah Winfrey (Lance Armstrong scrub-up)?

2013 Conference Picks

San Francisco 49ers (1-0 / 2) @ Atlanta Falcons (1-0 / 1) (1-20 / Fox 3:00)

Networks choose Georgia Dome for the early game over Foxborough where the temp could dip below 30° by kickoff with wind, rain & snow? Thanks, cufflinks.

The 49ers had their way with Green Bay while Atlanta wins by a “hair on their chinny chin chin,” so San Fran is a lock on Sunday, right-o?  Wrong-o.  In the words of “a great & mighty warrior,” “Nothing is written (Lawrence of Arabia).” Jim H. found space in Capers’ D-scheme that they won’t find in the Dome. The pros are big on adjustment so expect A-birds to put all their chips on ‘Colin Containment,‘ something they’re not half-bad at, as they slowed Mr. Lynch (46), held Russell to 45 and are more than happy to test Colin’s arm with an A-grade pass-D (6 / 20 INT).

Offense and defense have symbiotic rapport. The thrill & spontaneity generated by flash-QB can also produce a volatility & unpredictability that alters the defensive flow. Niners D has given up an average 30 pts. last four (36 (-) Cards game). Kaepernick’s road-play gets mixed results, Atlanta’s run-game is clicking and Ryan’s confidence is measured, all spelling kryptonite for Kaep Krusader. Falcons win and earn a trip to New Orleans.

Baltimore Ravens (2-0 / 4) @ New England Patriots (1-0 / 2) (CBS 6:30)

At this stage of the game, numbers, match-ups, histrionics and an early rumble (BAL 31-30) do as little for predicting as urine-samples do for PED appraisal. Injuries matter but low-factor here (media double-std: Bill (Gronk) vs Mike (RG3)?). One team follows a code of silence, the other likes to chit-chat (Ayanbadejo); one’s a bit of a party-crasher, the other often holds court; and while one is a ‘jack of all trades and master of none,’ the other is multi-talented but with an Achilles heel (PD-29 NE).

Both squads will take Gillette field ‘feeling their oats’ after proud wins and Flacco can sense that brass ring. Ray’s return a big booster but that can wear-thin. This is Baltimore’s best chance at AFC title since ’01 but they’ll face a field general in T. Brady who, unlike 1-yr. Mile High mustang Peyton, is ensconced at Foxborough. Patriots win.

Steven Keys
NFL Hunch Line
 
 
 
 
The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or CBSSports.com